The Tradeoffs Nobody Tells You About Kitchen Blockers

I'm immediately suspicious of any pickleball eyewear that claims to do everything. Never fogs. Never slips. Totally invisible. Makes you look like a pro. Probably improves your third-shot drop.

Come on.

I wear Kitchen Blockers. I'd tell most of my pickleball friends to wear them too. I also think you're much more likely to keep wearing them if you know what you're getting, instead of expecting one frame to fix every eyewear complaint you've ever had.

If you haven't seen them: they're pickleball eye protection with no lenses. Just a molded polycarbonate frame shaped so the ball can't reach your eye socket. No lens means nothing to fog, scratch or glare.

That's the big idea. It also comes with tradeoffs.

So here they are.

~ the six tradeoffs ~

#01 No lens means no fog. It also means no lens.

This is the reason to buy them, and the first thing to understand about them.

My first indoor session on a muggy August night was a revelation. I've quit every pair of safety glasses I've owned because of fog, and here there was nothing to fog.

Then I played outdoors at 2pm in July. No fog, no sweat on the lenses. Also no lenses, so I was squinting at every lob like a mole.

The tradeoff: taking the lens away removed the fog, and also everything else a lens does. No tint. No sun protection. Nothing between your eyes and wind or grit.

These are not sunglasses. I play in a visor outdoors now.

See Kitchen Blockers colors and sizes »

#02 They don't go over your glasses.

My husband bought us matching pairs. Mine went straight back in the case.

I play in my glasses, and Kitchen Blockers don't fit over them. The company says so plainly: contacts are fine, prescription glasses are not.

So now I play in contacts, which I swore I'd never do again, because the alternative was watching him play fog-free while I wiped my lenses every other point.

The tradeoff: if you need glasses to see the ball, these only work if contacts work for you.

#03 You'll see the frame for the first game.

One of the creators in their ads says they "don't affect your vision at all." I'd put it a little differently.

For the first ten minutes, I could see the frame every time I looked up for a lob. I almost took them off. Kitchen Blockers actually tells first-time wearers to expect a 10 to 20 minute adjustment period.

By the second game, I'd stopped noticing. I haven't thought about them since.

The tradeoff: the first game feels different. Give them two before you decide.

#04 Two sizes, and the wrong one shows up fast.

I guessed Classic. They slid down my nose every time I lunged for a dink. I spent a week bending the arms and stacking pads before admitting I needed the Slim.

There are two sizes. Measure across your face from temple to temple, across your eyes. Five inches or less is Slim. More than five is Classic. If you wear youth or small hats and sunglasses, Kitchen Blockers suggests starting with Slim.

The arms bend, the nose piece adjusts, there are extra pads and an optional back strap. Those fine-tune the right size. They won't rescue the wrong one.

Measure, then pick Slim or Classic here »

#05 They look like what they are.

Three people asked about mine before I'd hit a ball. One called them "safety goggles with the safety removed." I bought pink, so I wasn't exactly blending in.

Kitchen Blockers doesn't pretend otherwise. Their own ads say they're "not going to promise you'll look cooler." They come in white, black, clear, pink, blue and red, and the clear ones are the most low-key.

The tradeoff: these look like sports eyewear, because they are. People will ask.

#06 Set them up at home, not at the court.

This isn't really a criticism. It's me telling you what the box doesn't make obvious.

Out of the case, they won't fit perfectly. The arms have steel inside so you can bend them to your head. The nose piece moves. The pads stick where you need them. The strap is optional.

I did all of that standing at the court gate while my group waited. Do it at home. Put them on, bend the arms, set the nose piece, shake your head, look up like you're tracking a lob. Then decide on the strap.

You're welcome.

~ so, are Kitchen Blockers actually worth it? ~

I think the better question is, why did you stop wearing eye protection in the first place?

If it was fog, these fix it.

If it was "they look dumb," these help some. Pick a color you like.

If you play in prescription glasses, these aren't for you right now. Look at lensed prescription sports goggles.

If you also play squash or racquetball, you need lensed goggles for those.

And one more honest thing. Kitchen Blockers says 100% safety is never guaranteed, and I appreciate that they say it. The frame is designed to keep the ball out of your eye socket, and the company tested it with a pickleball at 60 MPH at a military impact facility. That testing is theirs. No lens-free pickleball eyewear carries a third-party sports eyewear certification yet. I still think a frame in front of your eyes beats nothing in front of your eyes.

Because the honest answer is that no eyewear can be fog-proof, lensed, tinted, prescription and unnoticeable all at once. Kitchen Blockers picked no fog and pickleball protection.

And I would much rather know that before I'm squinting at a lob in July.